Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Five Love Languages

Good Morning (not anymore, this thing took me all day) and Happy Hump Day! Man dog it, I am one sleepy chick! ( I have since recovered from this morning) But it's Wednesday and the countdown to my 1/2 day Friday is on the down slide... whoop whoop! So, I've been reading The Five Love Languages and I'm almost done. I wanted to go ahead and give you my take on it and include it in today's blog challenge: Your Current Relationship, If Single (blah blah blah). Well, I guess technically I'm "single"... there's no ring, no ceremony, no legal commitment. But my heart is committed and if you ask me, I'm ready!

The J guy (AKA Jerry... this will prob be the only time I name him, so remember it! lol :) What can I say? Where should I start? Well, he is either my BEST friend or he has some serious mind controlling powers. Real talk? I didn't think he was IT. I fought our "relationship" almost to its death. I was broken hearted, guarded and thwarted the idea of trusting him and us being together. I just wasn't ready. Past relationships had my head all a mess and I really just intended to chill for awhile; relax, learn myself, take my time... everything that did NOT include getting serious with him (if he reads this, I hope he doesn't take it personally... you know the deal). I was a crazy mess and I did almost everything I could to sabotage his feelings for me. And he allowed it, he took it all in stride.  He just remained patient and awesome and calm and loving and unphased by my craziness. Eventually his patience and perseverance provoked this amazing friendship that even I could not deny. One day, I reflected and realized what I was doing to him, to us. Knowing, no matter how patient he is, one person can only take so much of me pushing them away before they just give up the fight and go away. I knew I didn't want that and I was tired of myself at that point. He had become my best friend and confidant and most importantly he had spent so much time and effort trying to keep me sane and happy. Everyday felt like vacation with him, I just loved being with him and didn't want to chance losing that.  After careful consideration and alot of prayer, I leapt in. "He is not my past, he did not cause that pain and he is doing everything imaginable to ease my fears and be trustworthy."  All or nothing, right? *Great risk= great reward*.. He never forced it, or demanded it, but he made it so easy to want to give him his every desire (and I am not by nature a submissive woman... shocking I know). He loves Crazy Tamika and she is a force to be reckoned with. I didn't even know it was possible to love her, she is truly a nut and a half; sometimes bossy and demanding and defensive and stubborn and the list can go on I'm sure. He has proved me wrong and continues to do so daily.Thankfully some good does exist in me and thankfully it is enough to fill his love tank :) hopefully for a long time to come. This all brings me back to the book I'm reading (almost done), The Five Love Languages. The book says there are Five primary love languages that you show to give and receive love. The point is to figure out which is yours and which is that of your partner and work to make sure both of you are speaking the love language that will fill each other's tank.

#1 Words of Affirmation
#2 Quality Time
#3 Receiving Gifts
#4 Acts of Service
#5 Physical Touch

I know for myself, I need quality time. Thats how I feel  most loved, spend good quality time with me, pay attention to me, talk to me... happy town! Ironically, I asked the J guy last night was I clingy. He said no but Idk, I think I may need to check myself a little #seriously! (lol) Clingy or not, he knows my primary love language is Quality time and he speaks it well. He says his is physical touch and I guess that's why we work cause I am pretty touchy with him. Now that I know it's his, for certain I am on the job of filling his tank. The book says you usually give the kind of love you want to receive, in my case I think physical touch is my secondary love language. It comes naturally for me, lucky for him. 
What else? Nothing, just read the book! It is helpful and I definitely recommend it.
That's enough about our gushy love anyway... but I would be remissed if I didn't give him the props he deserves. He is a wonderful man and he helps keep the "peace of Tam" ♥

On a scale of Zero to 10 how full is your love tank? Zero means empty and 10 means "I am full of love and can't handle anymore."


Special shout out to Jules (my Knowledge is Power guru) for the many book recommendations, endless advice, and my example of 1 Corinthians 13 love ♥


  1. Presently, my tank is on E. It's not being filled by the person I want to fill it...and I don't want it to be filled by the other one who wants to fill it. *sigh*

  2. *sigh* indeed! Isn't that how it always goes? sucks! Maybe the person you dont want to fill it is just the person for the job... #justsaying. I hear you though! Good luck on getting your tank filled, it is a basic human need

  3. Awww, so happy for you Tamika! You two make a cute couple!

  4. Thanks Karen! I am very happy these days, its been a long time coming. :) YAY ME!!!