Friday, July 29, 2011

Oh Happy Day!! la la la la la la la

Good day! (good day cause I know its not gonna be morning anymore when I finish this...) I am in such a good mood today... must be FRIDAY!!!! SO challenge today... what song matches your mood? I would think this one would come easy to me. I strongly believe life is a musical. There is a song for any and everything you can think of, agree? I walk around all day with a song in my head and randomly sing songs referenced in normal conversation... Example? Yesterday Chelita said "I have a confession." I immediately began singing Usher in my head... "these are my confessions..." and because she knows me so well, I said "sing" she began singing the same thing!!! She encourages my crazy, I ♥ her! Today the J guy mentioned someone telling him to "come talk to me... " song: Jodeci "come and talk to me, yea baby.." But you catch my drift, I have a problem! So the fact that I cant think of a song that matches my mood is just Ludacris (lol, yes the rapper!). I am not going to let this challenge defeat me.
a few songs that I love that just may happen to match my mood (swings):

Pieces of Me- Ashlee Simpson 

Bittersweet- Kanye West  (dont ask me why... but I really like this song)

The Roots (ft. E. Badu) - You Got Me

    Jay-Z ft. Linkin Park Encore/Numb

Imagine Me- Kirk Franklin

Cheers (drink to that)- Rihanna  YEAH! it's the weekend!!!

Ok, these were all very random... I know. And I'm mad it took me all day just to come up with this list, but I had a very good day listening to music (with a minimal amount of work) lol!

Another random (knowledge is power), something new I learned today...  My coworker was walking by me and said "my wenis feels very dry today..." O_o your what?  Wenis - The skin on the end of your elbow that has no feeling. Very strange word, right? Idk if it is the technical term for that body part or just something to chuckle at. Either way...

That's my peace for today! Enjoy your weekend!!!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Wedding? I'm not that girl... (viewer discretion advised)

Morning... I'm just gonna go ahead and get this "my dream wedding" business out the way. I haven't ever "dreamed" about the kind of wedding I want. I don't have a color scheme picked out, cake flavors, ideal dress, flowers, bridesmaids... nothing! Not to say I've never thought about being married because I have, but a wedding has never been in my dreams. I dream of being happily married and feeling loved and spending my life with someone. I am even trying to think right now how I would want it to go and I got nothing! I'm just not that girl! I'd be perfectly fine with someone just telling me when and where so I can make sure I look super beautiful and then I just show up and then it all go down. Is that crazy? I don't even feel the need to be in a wedding gown. I don't know. Maybe if I felt my self near that point I would feel different, but I don't think I will. Maybe cause I'm moody today, I feel the need to be uncooperative. Maybe we should discuss that!? What do you do when you're mad? How do you respond when something is bothering you? Do you flight (withdraw) or fight (confront)?

Well me... I used to be all flight. For about 2 years I was in an abusive relationship (longer if I count the emotional and verbal abuse). I never got to feel mad or upset or sad. I had to be ok always. If something was bothering me, there was no confrontation. The potential consequences just didn't seem worth the effort to explain why I was upset. I mostly would end up getting a "you're mad? I'll show you mad!" response. Why risk that? Eventually this behavior would spread to everyone in my life. I would go inward and hold it all in and just be mad and people maybe not even ever know I was ever upset, the anxiety would build and eventually I would completely shut down... that was unhealthy for me. I never expressed my emotions, always Even Stevens even when I was boiling mad (on the inside). It wasn't an easy thing to do and I think the emotional stress it caused contributed to my physical anxiety. I always felt tired and overwhelmed and drained. It took one time for me to tell someone how I was feeling and what was going on with me. Scared, hurt, alone, afraid, overwhelmed, sad... I AM NOT OK! I finally told someone I was not ok and "magically" it all changed.  I went from living with a crazy person to one day this crazy person deciding (inexplicably) to leave. Now you know nothing is ever inexplicable... (I will try to avoid my scripture rant today, but I know where MY HELP comes from *insert praise dance here*) But after that day, my mind clicked... this is what happens when you tell someone what you're feeling? This is how it feels to not carry your burdens and problems by yourself? I don't have to feel overwhelmed and stressed out all by myself? If I tell someone how I'm really feeling, then freedom from those feelings can happen? Are you kidding me? When I'm mad, sad, hurt, scared I should just tell someone and it can get fixed? If I cant fix it, someone else maybe can? Finally I can release and feel what I feel and be mad when I'm mad, sad when I'm sad, and even more importantly happy when I'm happy. No one should have told me that secret cause it turned me into a "tell em why you mad" kinda girl (all fight!). I'm completely vocal about my every concern, issue and annoyance. Ok, maybe not EVERY but I'm not holding in things that should be spoken on. It feels good to get things off my chest. Maybe I'm overboard with it right now, but give me a minute... this is my therapy. Poor J guy... he has to hear it all. Ya'll pray for him for me please. I am a mess, but I refuse to hold in another emotion another day of my life... I refuse! Don't get me wrong, I'm not naggy and excessive (I don't think). I just feel how I feel and I want you to know about it! It's justified. :)

This is not where I intended for today to go, trust me. It was NOT comfortable, I spent a lot of this time figuring how I was going to talk about it without actually talking about it... but I refuse to live in shame. (I feel the need to plug my book club here (BYOB, whoop whoop!) we recently read a book I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): The Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power by Brene Brown.  This book talks about shame and overcoming it.) Shame is not an option for me. This is what I lived through and I am free now and maybe someone needed to hear about it.
I feel the need to add one of those "if you or someone you know" messages about domestic violence... but here's one better: www. Domestic Violence:The Facts

Today I want to add a special shout out to my mom (Gigi) for loving me, hearing me, and helping me... Thanks Gigi for being a crazy light skinned woman who helped fix what I couldn't fix and being there to fight the battle. (oh no now I'm gonna cry *tear*)

This was way more of a PEACE of Tam than I expected to share, but it is the reason this "piece" is peace... get  it? :) Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Taboo is serious!!!

So, I was having a conversation with (who other than) Jules... I do have other friends (maybe not after this post though) lol, but we were discussing the importance of education, knowledge, smarts, common sense i.e not being an idiot! And the game Taboo was mentioned. Now, we love this game and we are both pretty darn good at it (if I say so myself). I hope not to offend anyone who sucks at Taboo but if you cant play a decent game of Taboo, you are an IDIOT! (ok, maybe that's not completely fair)... I take that back. You may not be an idiot, but I cant respect you... too harsh? Some people's brain doesn't work that way, I understand that but there is really no excuse. This goes back to the whole topic of knowledge and reading and not living your life around the schedule of reality TV or any TV for that matter. I admit, chronic TV watching can be a plus if we're playing a game where we need someone who is versed in all things "Hollywood". You can be the go-to person for the "Entertainment" portion of trivial pursuit! Is that enough for you? Are you going to be mad that others are whooping you in Taboo? The English language is so complex and confusing that its the perfect language for a game of Taboo... so many words mean more than one thing that I don't see how anyone cant think of a way to describe something when being limited to not saying a group of words on a card. (Oh how I wish I had a Taboo card in front of me *google search*). If you don't know the game, let me give you a brief explanation...
there are cards... at the top of the card is a word you want your team to guess... (for instance "out" is the word). Also on this card are 5 words you cant say... (in, doors, exit, leave, go). How do I get my team to guess the word out without saying those 5 given words that are directly related to my word? The point is to get through as many cards as you can in an allotted time without losing points. To some... easy breezy. To others (and I cant understand it other than blaming it on idiocy), it is the most difficult, mind boggling, thought hindering concept ever.  My method, first thing that came to mind.... the easiest thing is think of a sentence that uses that word... I need to get ___ of here. I did not use those 5 listed words and I efficiently put you in the mind frame of figuring out my word. And it doesn't end there, say I have a team of less than smart people (idiots) and they don't figure it out that simply, I need to be able to think of other direction... On the show Project Runway ( I guess some reality TV watching comes in hand o_O), when Heidi Klum  sends a designer home she says... "you're___" (Don't forget you cant say "in"). Or the Diana Ross song.. I'm coming ___ (you can even sing the tune... geesh!)
Simple enough to some, right? It is unfathomable to me why this isn't equally (ok, maybe not equally but fairly) as simple to most people. Why are people unable to think outside the box? Why don't people know things that I think are just common sense? Jules said it best... "don't assume everyone has (did she say above?) average intelligence, consider everyone is below average. You cant give people so much credit." (sorry if I misquote you Jules) My bad for giving people the benefit of the doubt in the smarts department. I forget we are an exceptionally smart family and I like to think I keep the company of like people. I know my immediate friends are intelligent, so sometimes I forget the world is full of idiots... duh! Why can't I accept this? From now on, I will try.

Funny (?) story... I had a "boyfriend" and we were playing Taboo with my family... I wish I can remember the cards he got, although I believe one was "Monica Lewinsky". He didn't even know who she was. As he was attempting to explain the card, he was describing someone completely different ( I wish I could remember who he confused ML for) the point here is... who doesn't know who ML is??? REALLY?! Idiot! I cant date you! This is SERIOUS!!!!!! It just came to me... Lorena Bobbitt! Either he had card that said Lorena Bobbitt or he had Monica Lewinsky, either way he confused the two... (story would be funny if I could remember the deets, huh? lol) I digress... if you suck at Taboo, I cant respect you therefore a relationship between us cant happen! Mean? Does this blog make me sound like a jerk? well.... I am what I am! hahaha. And a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! Good thing the J guy is pretty decent in Taboo or else... I have to consider these things when it comes to relationships and procreation. If more people thought about the intelligence of the person they procreate with, there'd be less baby momma/baby daddy issues! (but that's a different blog for a different day!)
Now, don't take this wrong... I don't expect everyone to be Taboo pros, being an average player where you earn some points and can describe a few words, is completely acceptable. It's not everyone's forte. You can be a math genius or an exceptional artist or something and words just isn't your thing. That's fine. I'm talking about the folk that completely freeze and are baffled when they get a card that says "watch" and they cant say look, time, wrist, clock and wears then have no clue how to describe it. (If I want to know the hour of the day, I can tell by a certain piece of jewelry with numbers, a face and a second hand that ticks round and round... lol. Or if I want a G-shock, most likely I want a ____) and I could go on for days!!!
You can tell alot about the company you keep from a game of Taboo. My advice... play with your friends. You may find out you hang with a bunch of idiots or that you in fact are one... but it doesn't have to end that way. Practice your vocabulary, that's really all it is. Being able to replace words listed on the card with synonyms (words that mean the same thing, for the idiots). Maybe there are none left reading this blog, cause all of them probably stopped reading by now either cause they were in their feelings or cause it was just too plain long... hahahaha! Your (how can I offend you? sometimes I am a jerk probably cause I'm sleepy) peace of Tam...

Game night anyone?


Man oh man! Happy Hump Day! I am trying to feel good because I am so excited to see "Wicked" this evening, but on the real... I am wicked tired *in my best British accent*! I didnt get into bed til about 2:30 in the morning and I have this long day ahead which I am planning to enjoy. I think today may call for a 5 hour energy drink. Definitey today, the whole "blog challenge" topic is out the window forreals! I can't even think straight yet this morning. It's 8:34... why am I even at work so early? I've been here for 10 minutes and I dont have to be in for another 30 minutes, but catching my ride to work was crucial this morning. There is no way I could have handled the hecticness of Metro. Given my current temperment, it would not have been a good look. So what do we want to talk about today? How excited I am to take Ikaia to see Wicked? No, I think I've already covered that. How extremely exhausted I am? No, who really cares. I gotta do what I gotta do. How about we just call it a day and I lay my head on my desk for a bit... DING DING DING! We have a winner! lol, sorry I'm no fun today.
Wait! I do have one thing... I want to give a special shout out to Chelita (who doesnt even read my blog, what kinda bff right?) who talked me off the ledge yesterday when I really was about to jump. Man I was so pissed yesterday and she really "Dr. Phil'd" me to calmness. Maybe Dr. Phil isnt the right analogy cause she didnt once say "well, how's that working for you?" But you catch my drift. She said exactly what I needed to hear to understand the reality of the situation and not blow a casket cause I literally was about to &^^$%#$%&&*)(_)()&&^%%#$
Matter of fact, let me call her back now cause I know she is anticipating an update on the deets or hoping I'm not locked up somewhere for homocide! Dialing...

"This place about to blow!"

Your (not so) peace of Tam for the day!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Tam love the kids...

Good Morning! I'm having a pleasant morning so far, I hope the day continues as such. I got to work early again today but this time I snoozed all the way to 7:25am, oh the difference 2 hours makes! I mostly take the train to work so for my commute I try to indulge in a book. Currently, I'm re-reading this book Boundaries With Kids by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. I've read it before, but I felt I needed to reinforce the information with myself inorder to efficiently carry it out with the kiddies... (knowledge is power!) lol.

Anywhoozle, the topic of the day... a photo of an animal I want to keep as a pet? hmmmm, I am going to hang my head in shame as I say this but... I do not have a love for animals. Go ahead and judge me! It is what it is. Now dont get me wrong, I dont hate animals (other than a strong disdain for cats). I can see a puppy and be like "awww, so cute." I'll even pet him and rub his belly, but then I want to be able to walk away. It's like some people with a baby...oh so cute, hold it and then hand it back. You can love babies but not want one for yourself. Well thats how I feel about animals. So, with this challenge I'm gonna have to call it a fail. I dont want to keep any animal as a pet. Pass! But here's something  for you...

Tam love the kids! :) Here is a photo of some "animals" I would love to keep as pets! hahahaha.

I love my girls... every single last one of them and each individual hair on their pretty little heads!
And because there are so many kids in my life, I need to know how to handle all the crazy while not going crazy myself. Children do not come with an instruction manual. Despite what they tell you, maternal instincts and common sense dont just happen when the little monsters... I mean sweet angels pop out! Some things do just come to you, but most of it is just experience and learning along the way. No two children are the same but they all need the same things. This brings me back to my current read... Boundaries With Kids. I am not ashamed that I turn to "self help" books when I feel I need some extra instruction other than prayer and the Bible. I am actually proud of my desire to know more and to seek help instead of just winging it and potentionally ruining the lives of children that I was given the job to nurture and raise. "Knowledge is Power" (can I stress that point enough) Only if more folk did that... there would be much less Casey Anthony stories.

I definitely recommend the book Boundaries With Kids for anyone who has children or is anyway connected and involved in the upbringing of a child. It is basically "the help you need for raising your kids to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend take you through the ins and outs of instilling the kind of character in your children that will help them lead balanced, productive, and fulfilling adult lives." 

Learn How To: 
  • set limits and still be a loving parent
  • bring control to an out-of-control family life
  • apply the ten laws of boundaries and consequences for your kids 
... and much more.

You do not have to be in a crisis to benefit from this book. The principles offered apply to all situations, but dont take my word for it. Check it out for yourself!

I hope my piece of Tam didnt totally bore you for the day. As much I want to entertain, I want to help as well... I dont want to be the kind of person who keeps all the info to myself. Raising kids is hard enough, it truly does "take a village." I am thankful for village of friends and family that surround me. How could I not pass on the knowledge... its powerful stuff! Special shout out to Jules, who is my go-to source of advice when it comes to raising children. Oh! the many roles she plays for me ;) And I hope someone realized they are not alone in this "raising kids is tough" battle. I got yo back! If more people admitted they needed the help, more people might actually get it and possibly the life of a child can be saved.

A little something for the road:
  • Through presumption comes nothing but strife, but with those who receive counsel is wisdom. (Proverbs 13:10)
  • A wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel. (Proverbs 1:5)
  •  Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning. (Proverbs 9:9)
  •  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:7
  • How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding. For its profit is better than the profit of silver, and its gain than fine gold. She is more precious than jewels; and nothing you desire compares with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are PEACE. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her, and happy are all who hold her fast. The Lord by wisdom founded the earth; by understanding He established the heavens. (Proverbs 3:13-19)
  • Wisdom is protection just as money is protection. But the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the lives of its possessors. (Proverbs 7:12)
  • I could go on for days!!!!  lol

And that's your peace of Tam for the day... :)

    Monday, July 25, 2011

    BOOKS before Boys!

    Good morning and HAPPY MONDAY! I am so exhausted this morning. I got to work super early because if I would have "snoozed" (that's a funny word) at all, I would have never gotten up. The 1st snooze woulda turned into the 2nd to the 3rd to the 4th, so instead I rise and shined at 5:45 this morning... Lord keep me! While I'm talking to You also... can you make my baby better? Thank you for blessing me with Jules who I know will love and care her back to good health, but if you could put a rush job on it so she'll be perfect for Wicked at the Kennedy Center on Wednesday? (whoop whoop!) Is that asking too much? Thank You either way, I know she'll be fine.

    Speaking of my sweet Ikaia... and the topic for today "How important do you think education is?" Well... not to brag but my daughter is the smartest girl in the world. And I'm not just saying that cause she's mine, it's fact! lol.  Seriously though, I think education is very important... but who would say otherwise? A fool! And I'm not just talking about school and college or book smarts. I mean knowing things... reading books, watching things other than Spongebob and reality TV. I mean making it a point to learn something new everyday. being knowledgeable and wise...Very important! Do you ever just watch The History Channel or A&E or anything other than stupid people doing stupid things? There is this quote that I've loved ever since Herr Williams' German/Latin class 7th grade, "Knowledge is Power". There is another one; "The more you know, the farther you'll go", both saying the same things... education is important and having knowledge of things will take you far. How can you hold a meaningful conversation if you don't know anything? You can't. And its sad that people do it... a whole lot of talking but not really saying anything. I'd like to think I don't have this problem. I'm either talking alot or not talking at all. But I'm not shy or quiet, I just usually only talk when I have something to say (and every once in awhile, I got LOTS!).  
    Even the Bible has a strong view on how God feels about education (wisdom/knowledge) and the lack thereof...

    "A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."~Proverbs 18:2
    "A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating." ~Proverbs 18:6 lol
    "Doing wrong is like a joke to a fool, but wisdom is pleasure to a man of understanding." ~Proverbs 10:23
    "The wise will inherit honor, but fools get disgrace."~ Proverbs 3:35
    "Folly is a joy to him who lacks sense, but a man of understanding walks straight ahead" ~Proverbs 15:21
    “How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple? How long will scoffers delight in their scoffing and fools hate knowledge?"~Proverbs 1:22

    And I could go on and on... trust! It makes me proud to see how much Ikaia wants to soak in every bit of education she can. She could read before Kindergarten, she gets straight A's, Nature is her favorite thing to watch, she can have a ball at the museum (truthfully, they kinda bore me) but Ikaia, on a good day she'll pick up a book before she'll watch TV, she is amazed by all things factual. Ask her how a plant reproduces and she'll use the technical terms and tell you. Or ask her about dog breeds or bugs or animals... *smile* she can go on and on forever gladly. I am just so proud of her passion for knowledge and understanding. And I am proud of myself for instilling this in her and sometimes enforcing the importance of it when she tends to forget. I have to remember she's only 11 and the right thing to do is not always going to be her first choice. But it is my JOB to cultivate her habits. Homework before TV, study before playing, good grades before rewards, BOOKs before BOYS. Thankfully I haven't YET had much resistance with her and prioritizing her education, but I am realistic and I know the tougher times are ahead. Hopefully prayer and good direction will keep her on the right path. If only I had taken it more seriously when I was younger. Don't get me wrong, I did well in school. I am beyond smart (toot, toot!) but I didn't focus or prioritize. I know it's not too late but right now, Ikaia is the priority. And it is my job to "train her in the way that she should go, and even when she is old she will not depart from it." ~Proverbs 22:6. Lest I forget to mention the most important knowledge one should have... Knowledge of God's word. I am not here to force my belief or opinion on anyone, but neither will I deny my own. So how important is education? In this case... its Life or Death!

    Knowledge is Power? well...  "I've got the Power!" lol

    Your peace of Tam for the day... enjoy your week!

    Friday, July 22, 2011

    "People let me tell you about my best friend..."

    It's FRIDAY! Hecks yea... this is the day I wait all week for! I dont care what kinda day it is, I try to maintain my positivity on Fridays. Can't nothing get me down because it's Friday! Now, dont go testing this theory and get cussed out! It's not etched in stone, just a weekly honorable attempt.
    So... my favorite photo of my best friend? I'm quite unprepared for this one. I shoulda looked ahead and cheated so I could have had a photo lined up. But whateverthecase... my best friend.
    Well! Where should I begin? First of all I have 3 best friends, dont judge me! I know this isnt the task, and yes it follows the theme of Tamika the Indecisive One. But, I think this is a normal occurance, right? It happens. There are 3 people who I love and cherish and consider my bestest of friends. All different, yet trusted, tried and true. Which should I begin with? Let's start where it started, shall we?
    since the beginning...

    Jules ♥- (Julita is what she'd like to be called) She is my God given, from birth bestest friend. There are no words to describe just how special and important she is to me. She plays sooo many roles in my life and I know I can always depend on her and count on her to steer me in the right direction with love and truth and..... ALL THINGS WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL and AMAZING. She just amazes me with everything she does. She is a beautiful person inside & definitely out and a wonderful mom, I'm just so proud to call her my sister, my "jewels" (cause she's so precious to me!)

    its a party, its a party, its a party!!!

    Chelita Chavonne "it was inevitable"... Idk how we happened upon each other exactly. OHHS 10th-11th grade, too many classes together, mutual friends, common understanding... whateverthecase! We were put together and over the last 15 years (GEESH!), I realized if I had to do all over again and got to choose a best friend, I would choose exactly YOU! She is so funny and fun and smart and nonjudgemental and loyal and trusting and.... everything I need to feel comfortable and safe and loved. She is the perfect best friend. I dont even feel like I chose her, we kinda just happened. And since that day, I have known for certain that if ever I needed anything, she would be there. She has really grown up from old Stanky Panks. The woman she is now, I'm just so proud *tear*. I dont even think she's aware of how awesome a woman she is... so corny, but forreals! "it was inevitable" I soooo ♥ Chelita Chavonne Pankey! "The good times, the bad times... 

    Last but certainly not least... the J guy! *dreamy eyes* hahaha.
    "A Friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway!!!" I cant think of a thing I haven't told this man. He knows my whole life story and still chose to be a part of it and love me. That for one is CRAZY but its also really special. He is the perfect balance to me... so calm and nice and patient and tolerant and loving and relaxed. How does he even put up with crazy me? How could I not love him? Truth... in the beginning, I sooo put him in the friend zone. Shhh... dont tell him that, k? But forreals he was my friend and he slowly but surely broke down my walls (and they were big, thick metal overlayed brick walls!). He just loved me, despite me and I grew to love and trust him unconditionally and now he is a permanent fixture in my heart. There isnt enough I can say about this man that I adore so... he is a wonderful father, a responsible "up at the crack of dawn" provider, a fixer, a cook, a "how can I make you happy today?" kinda guy... Yea be jealous bitches! lol. And he is mine!

    "People let me tell you about my best friend..."  (originally from the tv show The Courtship of Eddie's Father) I love this theme song and I sing it often! lol

    I feel like I should add my honorable mentions... :)

    there's my brother Kirk, who has grown into a handsome young man and wonderful friend. . I know he got my back! I'm sure time and experience will catapult us to best friendship

    and my soul sister Onika :) just the thought of her makes my heart smile. She is almost exactly me. I sooo love her. She is strong and tough and awesome and beautiful and funny and just gets me. I love and trust her with all thats in me! I wish I did a better job of cultivating our friendship. We definitely need to spend more time together but I know for certain and she has proved that no time or distance will affect the bond we share.

    Thursday, July 21, 2011

    First date? No thank you!

    It's Thursday, YES! Countdown to the weekend is looking good. It's supposed to be a real scorcher for the next few days, so everyone safely enjoy the day. Make sure to keep cool and hydrated, ok?
    About this whole first date thing... I'm not interested. I dont want to go on a first date with a new guy. I want the 100th date with the same guy who continues to consistently amaze me. Why would I rather have awkward "get to know you" convo when I can have comfortable "I already know what you're thinking" time with someone I already know and love. Maybe I should imagine a 1st date with that person just for the sake of the task, but even that doesnt sound very fun. I'm so guarded and paranoid, Idk if I've ever had a good time on a first date unless I already really knew this person. How often have I dated a "friend"? hmmm, once or twice or three times. And they were some pretty good dates, I must say but... anywhoozle. I'll give you the deets on the ideal date I recently had!
    So, date day with the J guy last week, and I think it was perfect. First we went to breakfast at IHOP. Who doesnt love IHOP, right? Then we drove to the Baltimore Harbor. Now had this been a first date with a new guy, Idk if I could've been comfortable on the car ride all the way to Bmore... whole time I woulda been thinking "where are you taking me?" I am not that trusting just to be riding around the world with any Tom, Dick or Harry. nuh uh, not me! I refuse to have my family on the news talking about "last we heard from her she was going on a date with this guy." If anyone knows the whereabouts of this woman or has any information on her disappearance please call... pppsshhhhh. Ok, so maybe thats a bit dramatic, but in this day and age this is the kinds of things we need to consider before you go anywhere with anybody.
     And what would we talk about? I guess I'm not really that awkward and eventually my fun loving wittiness would have come out... maybe? Idk how "first impression Tamika" comes off? I am so sarcastic, it often gets mistaken with being mean and rude. I cant remember the last time I went on a real first date so all this could just be speculation, but whatevs... my perception, my reality. So back to the "audience approved pieces" of my awesome date day...
    Once to Bmore, we went to the aquarium. I've never been so it was a nice first experience. Then we walked around a bit and decided on lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe, then the mall and shopping (would a 1st date guy take me shopping? I'm not THAT girl so prolly not!), then a manicure then more walking and talking and just being together. Then we drove back towards home in time to catch Horrible Bosses at the movies (it was ok, I laughed but it was NO Bridesmaids!). Did we not eat dinner this day? I dont recall a dinner but the wonderful day was on such a cloud, that I'm having a little trouble remembering all the specific deets. Anywhoozle, you get the drift. I had an awesome day with someone I already know and love which beats any first date with any one on anyday! It may be our 100th date but I'd much rather have that than a bunch of new awkward moments getting to know Tom Dick Harry. You dont agree? Well, tell me about it! I said my "peace of Tam" for the day. Get it, got it? Good! :)

    Wednesday, July 20, 2011

    Just put me in a bubble!

    Benadryl is of the devil! I got the worst hives all over my hands from idk what! I had just finished eating lunch when all of sudden my hands, (front and back) started to itch and burn... is there a such thing as athlete's hands? lol. Anywhoozle, I was running them under cold water and holding ice when one of my coworkers suggested and handed me 2 Benadryl. Now, I know me and I know better and I usually have just one. But apparently I was so crazy from the hives that I took 2. Eventually the hives subsided,  but now I am a sleepy mess. My eyelids are sooo heavy, its CRAZY! It was a mistake and I knew it. I still have no idea what caused the mad hives disease on my hands (alls I ate was a chicken sandwich from Nando's... yummy yum!) but never again will I take 2 "bennys" at the same time. I feel like I've said this before. Lesson learned? I sure as heck hope so!
    Where's some lotion? My hands are sooo dry right now! #notsorandom

    *singing* ♫♪ Just put me in a bubble! put me, put me in a bubble! put me in a bubble! ♫♪  (sung to the tune of "Teach Me How to Dougie")

    What's Your Favorite Movie?

    First of all, Happy Wednesday! And I certainly hope today is a happy one forreals. Yesterday ended up in the toilet somehow. It was a real roller coaster, but one thing I know for certain... it was ME! More than usual, I was a real B-I... I was moody and easily annoyed and just crazy! and I could feel it. Now I saw some people that would be like "yea right Tamika, you were awesome yesterday" cause there was some time when I was pleasant and fun loving and my usual AWESOMENESS.  But that same girl didn't come home. And the poor folk up in my house... whoa buddy! But today I "purpose to have an extraordinary day" *in my Aunt Lisa voice* ha! 
    anywhoozle... What's your favorite movie? Much like the favorite song thing, this is too broad a question. Or maybe I am just uber indecisive. In real life I can barely make my mind up about anything. At restaurants I ask everyone I'm with what they're having. Deciding the lunch spot daily is an issue and when I don't know what to choose, I just repeat an old favorite or yesterday's meal. Ridiculous! but... that's me! and it's always been me, I blame Jules! She always just told me what to do or I just did what she did. No mind of my own, I'm a loser! ok, not really. I digress...
    Yesterday I was a so moody and crazy, you know what I could have used? A good comedy. I LOVE funny movies. My favorite movie right now is Bridesmaids! I went to see that movie with my sis and I literally LMAO!!! Another favorite is 40 Year Old Virgin, cant nobody say that movie ain't funny! (excuse my triple negative). But that's how funny it was...
    Ok, so being the indecisive girl that I am, here is a list of my favorite movies (I guess) by genre. Cause how could I possibly put an action movie against a love story? Impossible!
    Disclaimer: I would really like to challenge all of my choices and start again and decide what my favorites are but these choices are the movies I've convinced myself are my favorites for awhile now.

    Romance- Love Jones (Nia Long and Larenz Tate all day!) Yes!
    RomCom- How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days (don't judge me!)
    Comedy- was 40 Year Old Virgin until this summer's Bridesmaids came out
    Action- I've been telling myself that it is A Long Kiss Goodnight with Sam J. and Gina Davis for years but this one I would especially like to challenge and decide again. But as it stands today...
    Scary- I'm not a big scary movie fan, but I'm going to make Saw series (probably only up til the 3rd or 4th one) fall into this category although its more gore than scary.
    Drama- The Color Purple! (the musical was the awesomeness also)
    Documentary- All things Michael Moore but Sicko was my favorite. Documentary I did NOT like: Religulous (check it out though)
    Musical- The Sound of Music wait maybe Grease, idk
    SciFi- I dont really do SciFi, hmmm... is I am Legend Sci fi? What about the 20,000 Leagues remake movie? ummm.... there is Will Smith and all his alien movies (Independence Day/ I,Robot?) uhhh, Idk... you pick one for me!
    Is Comicbook a genre or is that under action or Sci fi or something? if so, X-Men

    Ok so most of these choices are ones I decided way long ago just so I would have an answer when someone asked what my favorite movies are. I don't want to be held and hog tied to these. Maybe I'll watch some movies and have a list do over.
    As much as I want to, I'm not even gonna broach the subject of how I am NOT a big fan of black movies. It is a sad realization but (because I love them) I just expect and want more from my people! You will NOT catch me being the first in line for a Tyler Perry movie though. #thatisall!
    Let me add that I used to think Netflix was awesome! I used to be a serious promoter of them (they should've paid me). Now they're just alright. Either I am going to the movies so much that I don't optimize them as thoroughly or I am tainted by their recent price change and haven't gotten over it yet. Either way... THEY ARE ON MY LIST!  
    Hope I helped you over the hump and there's your peace of Tam for the day! :)

    Tuesday, July 19, 2011

    My favorite song?

    GOOD Morning! Forreals I feel good today... *exhales and smiles* There is sooo much I want to talk about but as much as I want to stray from the 30 Day Challenge already and get down to real business, I think I may need to do this to hold myself accountable. Namtalmbout? (know what I'm talking about) lol. The whole "30 days to make a habit..." thing. Well by nature I am a rebel and a rule breaker, contrary, against the grain, difficult, hard headed... how else can I put it? I do my own thang! So if by chance I get off "30 Day Challenge" topic, please don't sue me... I really just can't help myself. Anywhoozle...
    To ask someone their favorite song is like asking them which child is their favorite. Am I right? Like, really who does that? It just isn't fair for the person who has to answer that question. Cause I love them all! I love them equally, yet in different ways for different reasons. Namtalmbout? They're all special to me. I don't want to hurt anyone of "their" feelings or hurt myself by feeling like I have to choose. I don't! You may pay special attention to the new ones cause their new and fresh like a newborn and just need the time and nurturing to develop in your heart and mind. But the older ones, the teenagers, they are tried and true. They've withstood time and formed countless memories. I'd cry if I had to exclude the others and pick just one. I could never just choose one... but I'd be more than happy to give you a small sample of a few of them that really melted themselves into a peace of Tam :)
    Disclaimer: this list is definitely not listed in any particular order, just as they come to mind) I'm so indecisive and wavering. haha, learning so much about myself today. Back to it...

    The first one that comes to mind is good ole L.Boogie. Lauryn Hill back in the day was the BUSINESS! Don't even open your mouth to argue... There are so many of her songs that I love and I'm sitting here tryna decide between Ex-Factor, The Sweetest Thing and Turn Your Lights Down Low. I think I'm gonna give it to Ex-Factor though.

    Then Corrine Bailey Rae- Like A Star. This song really soothes my soul. I close my eyes and just feel refreshed when I hear this song, makes me wanna hear it right now. *exhales* She has such a soothing voice, love her!

    All things Maxwell! #thatisall
    All things Raheem Devaughn
    Despite her personal life, All things Alicia Keys (she my play cousin) lol, but Diary is my favorite
    J. Hud - If This Isn't Love :)

    Most things Usher, but especially currently There Goes My Baby for the timing and the memories it gives me ;) ♥
    Most things Musiq Soulchild

    ♥ The S.T.E.E.L Band (not taking anything away from them as a group) but only cause I love to see the J guy perform

    In my blog bio, I said I love music that either soothes my soul or rocks my hips and I would be amiss if I didn't mention Ester Dean ft. Chris Brown- Drop it Low. Ha!  Now I have to admit, I have no idea who this chick is, where she came from, any other songs she has... nada! But let this song come on in the club. Oh! it's on... lls!!!

    I could go on forever, trust! But for the sake of not boring anyone and getting my 9-5 work done, I'm gonna leave it at that. I'm about to either crank some C. Brown (despite his personal life, I heart him too) or soothe out to Corinne Bailey Rae.There's your peace of Tam for the day...
    What's your favorite song?

    Monday, July 18, 2011

    just Tam... the Intro

    Well... hey! I'm Tamika Renée! (I rhymed on accident)
    I am literally every woman. I am mother, daughter, sister, sister-mom, girlfriend, aunt, friend, niece, grand-daughter, (newly) blogger... everything! Then at some point, I  try to be "just Tam". I have a bundle of fears and insecurites wrapped in a covering of love and support. Sometimes, my mind  is going in every which way that I am borderline losing it, but I am loving it at the same time (it's possible... trust!). I have so many thoughts that they often run rampant and I dont know what to do with them all. So here I am... with you, hoping for somewhere to "safely" release and offer you pieces of me, "a peace of Tam". I trust you and I hope to find some joy and peace in devulging myself in pieces. The real question though: Do you trust me? Of course you do, right? Well learn me, follow me (if you like on Twitter @ThatTam_I_Am) take your time, it's all we got...

    Ready, Set, Here goes... everything!