Saturday, December 6, 2014

Duh Tamika

Good morning. I'm just laying in bed, awake, watching tv. Mali is beside me asleep, mr. Brawner just left out for work and to drop Nae off to her job on the way. The other girls, Ki and the Jays are all in their rooms asleep, I imagine. And this bit of rare alone time gave me room for a little self reflection. I'd prob be one super wise cookie if I just had a few more of these moments but, alas, I'll just have to take what I can get... This morning.

What I am about to say, I was about to update on my FB status. Then I realized "whoaaa T, blog it!" So here I am. 
It was a real "duh Tamika" moment. But I am willing to share my "duh Tamika" revelation, admitting my ignorance, in hope that my little aha moment may be helpful to someone else living in that same not just a river in Egypt...

I am the heart of my family. My mood, behavior, responses and actions set the tone for the whole family. They all require so much from me, it really only makes sense that their moods and actions are sometimes a direct reflection of my own. I have to be patient and kind. I have to be relaxed and calm. I have to be light hearted and funny. Yes, that's a lot of pressure on me. Yes, I really just want to get to lose it sometimes, but what will we gain? What are the benefits in that? 
This past 30 days, I went on a quest to intentionally only say kind things to my husband. I think I failed one day, I wonder what he'd say? But on my own watch, I recall one day where my sarcasm got the best of me and I forgot my own challenge. But those other 29 days, where I only spoke kindness, were a win for my marriage. And because I'd been so awesome those other days, that one day was probably an easy pill to swallow. I'm in this FB group for black wives and we've been doing a 30 Days of Prayer for your Husband. Each day you pray over specific areas pertaining to your husband, and there's a challenge to go with it. Along with only speaking kindness to him and about him, the challenges included building him up, listening to him, complimenting him, and another 27 days of reigniting the initial spark in your love and affection. Mr. B and I are a pretty easy couple. We (he) doesn't argue at all, we have an open communication and we actually really like each other. But includin little steps into each day that required me to be intentional about my thoughts and actions towards him, made a very large difference in our marriage. He didn't change a thing. He wasn't doing his own "prayer over my wife" challenge. He didn't become an easier person, then again, he did-- but only because I changed, my intentional positive attitude made him easier. In turn, making me more patient and loving, which then reciprocated the kindness in him. I got random forehead kisses, verbal expressions of happiness, invitations to infiltrate his man time... Whoa whoa!! What's going on here? All this just because I've made a slight (lol at slight) attitude adjustment? Well, peace be still! 
Lesson learned. Tamika, you are the heart. Your health is pertinent to the health of he whole body. Everyone needs you to pump love, kindness, and joy through the home, so that the rest of the body can flow in productive peace. Well duh Tamika! But knowing it and doing it and seeing the benefit firsthand? It was amazing to witness.  
All this power!!! I'll try to use it wisely and not let it go to my head. :)

Of course my little Tasmanian Angel is awake now, wise self-reflected thoughts over. Back to life, back to chasing the baby tornado. 

Love yall, that's my peace!