Wednesdays used to be my good days. But I'm pretty certain, Wednesday wasn't cutting it last week either. I feel like I have so much pent up frustration. Honestly, I really just want to scream and cry. And it's not just one thing I can pinpoint. It's a LOT of little things that are out of my control. It used to feel easier. It used to feel worth it. I don't like wallowing in the negativity of the day, but today... it seems like nothing is working. I woke up feeling rested. Then, the morning happened... reality hit! Annoyances, anxiety, overwhelmingness. I read my bible and did my work for this class I'm in at church and I actually recovered for awhile. But it's hitting me again. You think I can sit here and read my Bible at my desk?
Ever just feel like you're a team of 1? (even if you're not)... Ever just feel like you're in it all by yourself? No one's on your side? No one understands (and are not trying to)? That's how I feel right now... like I am working hard and making an effort but what's it all for? Work, life, friendships... *SIGHS* (in caps cause it was a BIG sigh).
I don't like to blog negatively (as real as it is right now), so I'm going to leave it here. I need to get it together for my Nae's bday tomorrow :) I want to be all smiles! (and not the fake kind).
You guys try to enjoy the rest of this wet day.
I hope to have my peace back tomorrow... can I borrow some from somebody? Somebody, anybody?
My coworker Kaitlyn just walked by and rubbed my back for all of 5 seconds, it was much needed. (hopefully I don't look how I feel) Maybe she was rubbing a little peace on me... here's hoping!
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