Wednesday, September 14, 2011

My Letter

Whoop whoop! It's Wednesday, right? I seriously woke up thinking it was Thursday, but I'm up to date and now I have the pleasure of siking myself up to appreciate this actual day. You're moving too fast Tamika! SO... it's Wednesday! Whoop Whoop!!! lol.
Anywhoozle, I am going to give a second attempt to the blog challenge: A letter to someone who hurt you...
Unlike yesterday, I didn't put any thought into what or who I wanted to address so, we'll all be surprised at the end of this. Here goes EVERYTHING!


I am writing you this letter because you've hurt me. I trusted you to love me and you disappointed me. I felt I should be able to count on you and I sometimes couldn't. You put me in critical, dire situations. Often times, I didn't know how I was going to survive them. Luckily, but no thanks to you, I am still alive. You were supposed to take better care of me, yet you were the one who hurt me the most. Often times I questioned how you could possibly love me treating me like you have? Your love, time and again, felt like hate. The line can't be that thin... I want you to know that everything you've ever done wrong to me, only made me better and stronger and I've learned so much from the life you awarded me. Fortunately, instead of holding on to it and living miserably, I was able to find freedom from those chains and live peacefully and joyfully in spite of you. I do love you and I want what's best for you, but I need you to want the same for me. I hope you know that you are a better person than the one you portray. I know things haven't always been pleasant and easy for you and there are many situations you should have never had to experience once, yet they've been reoccurring for you. I know you have pain and heartache and anger but... don't let life's happenings control your happiness. We are stronger than that. We deserve better than the life others tried to inflict on us. I love you and more importantly I forgive you. Only thing left... forgive yourself.

Love, Tamika

*sighs* Now that was rough! I wrote this letter because there have been too many people in my life who've hurt me. More times than not, it's been someone who I loved and trusted and never expected to cause me such pain. The statement always rings true for me "the ones you love the most, hurt you the most". It makes sense though, those are the people you are most vulnerable with. This letter could have fit so many names into the "Dear_____," space (2 people come to mind very quickly and I used the pain they caused me for inspiration in my letter) but I wrote this letter to the one who's hurt me the most... myself. Dear Tamika.
I am the one who should have taken the best care of myself, even when I could not count on other people. I take responsibilty for my choices and mistakes and the people in my life who've hurt me... I chose them (most of them anyway)! Free will is a MOTHER... (pun intended. You get it? lol, probably not)
Yes, I've made mistakes and put myself into some CRAZY situations. If God would have left me to myself and my own devices, I would be/should be dead right now. To God be the Glory! If only we had all day...

I am working daily not to let the yesterdays affect the todays and tomorrows. Thanks for indulging me and giving me the space to be my (better) self. I am still a work in progress, so forgive me when I mess up. I forgive me! That's my peace!

                             Loving You No More
Idk if I can take this "music" serious, but it seemed fitting. Yay? Nay? eh... *shrugs*

                                                   This song also came to mind... (doesn't quite fit, but I like it and its my blog!)
                          112-Your Letter
The actual music video was a little blurry...

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