I have been trying to work on my love for my natural hair so I've been watching these youtube videos on natural hair styles. I made Kai my little guinea pig (because I cant imagine holding my arms up to do my own) last night and did her hair in a bantu knot out/twist out style. This morning as I am unknotting and untwisting (with envy), her nose is turning up as if she doesn't love it. My face looking confused wondering how she could not love it...? *sighs*. Then she asks me "what are we going to do to it now?" And I'm like "What do you mean? This is how its supposed to be :(" (and it was sooo gorgeous!). Then she says, "I'm not trying to stand out and this hair is going to make me stand out!" To which I responded "Isn't that the point?!", completely baffled to this foolishness she was talking. She said "I already stand out enough". Then I remember she is only 11 and at that age fitting in is the thing to do (I guess). But it saddened me at the same time. I wish I had time to take a picture of her fabulous hair before I brushed it into a ponytail (even though it was as awesome ponytail as well). But I also wish I had time to sit her down and explain (ok, lecture) on the importance of standing out. I would have told her how the right thing to do isn't always going to be the popular thing to do. How she will always stand out if she plans to live a life pleasing to God. I wanted to ask her what she would do and how she would feel when everyone else was doing the wrong thing. Would you be able to stand out then? What if someone is picking on someone else, will you stand out then? I want her to be proud not to fit in. I want her to be independent in her decision making even if it means not "fitting in". I want to leave work right now and go pick her up from school and have this talk with her. (too much?) Hopefully this is all fresh on my mind by the time I get home from work today. But with her already being 5 minutes later than her leave out the door time, I just kissed her on the forehead, hugged her, said a little prayer and told her to "be a leader". Coincidentally, I wrote that same thing on her lunch box note the day before. I wish I would have reinforced it again on today's lunch note but I guess "I love you. Have a wonderful Wednesday!" will have to do.
I've never really fit in... always been Tamika, a little different than everyone else, never really doing the "cool" thing, never really caring (maybe once upon a time I cared). I am independent in my choices... I guess maybe at 11, I hoped to fit in but it never really happened. So I guess after a certain point, it didn't feel important anymore.
How I wish Kai would see what I see that now without having to go through those preteen to teenage years trying to fit in. It really isn't worth the trouble... be who you are, however you are and people will respect that. And if they don't, so what!
I gave up on my relaxed hair 5 years ago... it wasn't really the cool thing to do then (or was it?). Everyone wants to be long and straight. I just want to be short and curly (not little boy short, like Chelita suggests), but a sassy, cute short. But every time I cut away at it, I feel like a quitter on my natural hair like I'm running from the problem. The longer it gets, the more trouble I have figuring out what to do with it myself. So instead of cutting it and being able to handle it easy breezy, this time I'm going to figure this stuff out and let it grow. So when you see me on the streets looking crazy... you already know! For now, either I'm going to have to sacrifice the comfortability of my arms and experiment on myself or I'll just wait for you to volunteer to help me... One thing I know, I wont waste my time on that Kai girl's head again! SMH... that Ikaia (and her desire to be long and straight)! Who's daughter is she?
A few of my favorite natural hair channels are:
Here are two of the videos that inpired Kai's hairdo...
I wish I would have had time and thought of taking a pic of Kai with her hair... but I hadn't intended to blog about our hair experiment. It was only provoked by her desire to not stand out. I still cant get over it... smh. I'll see how the talk goes later...
Happy Hump Day!!! That's my peace!