I am living my PEACE! Here you will find pieces of my peace. I invite you to share in it, and take as you need... a peace of Tam.
Monday, March 18, 2013
What it is... update!
Good morning and Happy Monday everyone!
I am super tired today! I went to bed at a decent time and I should be well rested, but my body is still tired. It could be the aftermath of walking the mall two days this weekend. I really don't do the mall! But I'll do anything with Mr. Brawner... so that put me in the mall twice! Despite the swollen feet and sore legs, it was a good time. How was your weekend?
I didn't get to see much of my sweet daughter this weekend, she was so "busy" working on a project. I'm not sure her project took up as much time as she spent working on it. She is the most distracted girl... she can't seem to focus on one thing for too long. But she spent her whole weekend doing schoolwork and I did not get to see her much. I told Nae yesterday that I was missing Kai. By Sunday afternoon, I just felt like she was missing from the day. I truly missed her. I must say, she has been being a "Better Daughter". I know I haven't been doing the daily posts on her, but the morning texts still continue everyday and she is still improving. Now that we have some of this behavior, smart mouth thing under control (somewhat), we need to start in on improving at school. She is well behaved and doesn't get into trouble, but her school work and grades are on a fast downward spiral! My straight "A" daughter is struggling in middle school. What I know? It isn't a lack of understanding... it's a lack of focus, it's peer pressure, it's a struggle to find her place and fit in somewhere, it's a missing self esteem. I am... (worried isn't the word) aware. Not worried because I am trusting God, but feeling motherly you know? Concerned! I will continue to pray over her, trust God, instill the importance of her education and her future, and love her. Is there really anything else I can do? I can't sit over her and make sure she does homework and studies, it is her responsibility and ultimately her choice. But I trust God that she will turn it around, I have to! But I'd say spending her weekend working on a project is a good start! I am trusting!
I went to pick her up Sunday evening thinking she'd be done her work after 2 days of working on it, but she wasn't ready and didn't know when she would be. And after walking the mall all day, I just wanted to be home in bed so I left her. Thankfully, my wonderful brother went to get her for me so I didn't have to leave back out the house at 10pm when she finally texted me that she was done. He is a lifesaver! He always does things that may seem small, but mean the world to me. I was exhausted, she is my kid, it was my duty to get her, but he... he is amazing! He drives me to work, drives me home from work. He just regularly goes out of his way to make my life easier and I am so grateful for him. I thank God for him. My heart smiles...
All these people God placed around me, that add so much joy to my life. I am overjoyed, overwhelmed with love and gratitude. I can't wait for Baby Brawner to get here (have I announced here that It's A Boy?)... I can already imagine just how loved and full his life is going to be; 5 sisters that can't wait to meet him (especially the 1 that makes time to talk to him everyday :), aunts, uncles, grandmas, his dad that claims he's gonna be this hardcore tough parent (but we all know he is a just a big teddy bear and tough isn't even in his DNA), friends that are like family. They all look forward to him making his debut into the world. And I just can't wait to love him and hold him and poke him back! Aww, man he did not like the mall yesterday! He was like "what are you doing mom? we've never moved around this much" lol! Or maybe he was having a good time, and thought it was party time because he would not keep still! It was so uncomfortable though, I just want to evict him. But *sighs*, it's not time yet, let's allow him to finish baking in there. 20 weeks down, 20 more to go! We're in the process of naming him now, we've had one solid name that both Kai and Mr. Brawner have agreed on, and I like it... just not sure it's the ONE, you know? Naming a baby is hard, especially a baby boy. You want it to be strong and mean something and at the same time, not the same name as every other boy he's gonna grow up with. It's tough! The name I like, no one else likes :( and I just can't think of any other contender names right now. Maybe we should do a "Naming Baby Brawner" post/contest. The best name gets a prize (that I haven't thought of yet). I'll think on this some more.
Otherwise, everything is going fine... remember that "AFP" test the doctors wanted me to take again? The first time, the test was more positive than they would like, so they wanted to do it again. Well the second time, it came back just negative enough to satisfy them. YAY! This praying and not worrying thing is working out great for me. I didn't worry so much that I never even told Mr. Brawner. Imagine that! I never even felt the need to disturb his happy thoughts with the information. I know we're a team and he maybe would've wanted to know, but (after my talk with Jules), I never felt like I was carrying a worry. I handed it over to God and allowed myself to not even think about it. If it had been plaguing my thoughts, of course Mr. Brawner would've gotten the details but... God is good! He promises to help us bear all our burdens, and trust me He does!
I pray that you all have a great week. Remember to love and appreciate the people God has placed in your lives, trust that God will help you bear all your burdens and please continue to keep me, my growing daughter and the baking Baby Brawner in your prayers.
That's my peace! Love, Tam
Here are some of the texts from last week and today...
Maybe some of my messages are what led to having such a dedicated worker this weekend.
To God be the GLORY!
I gave Mr. Brawner a mason jar filled with chocolates and love notes
for Valentine's Day, this note was taped to the bottom of
the mason jar! Happy Valentine's Day indeed :)