Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Maybe TMI and inappropriate, but...

urgh! kids and husbands... anyone who thinks they're missing out cause they don't have kids or a husband? Think again! I love my kids, and I love my husband and most days they feel like the biggest blessing in the world. Then there are those days when you wish you didn't have either. Both require you to have this huge amount of patience and maturity and SELFLESSNESS! Some days I just want to be selfish, impatient and immature... but NOOOO, I got people counting on me to responsible and loving. Some days I just want to think about ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sighs* and then when I do, the whole world falls apart.

I don't expect my 12 year old to be super sensitive to my current load. She's 12, and by nature, she's selfish. But my husband... yes, I expect that guy to understand I am carrying your baby around over here and this (I want to cuss him out) isn't easy! It is not about you for the next 4.5 months! Then it still won't be about you... deal with it! If only his love language was words of affirmation. I can handle that and still survive the day, but all this physical touch they both require... I just can't manage it right now (not without feeling over burdened and like I'm losing my mind). "All I can manage is a peck kiss, sir because my last meal doesn't feel very secure in there and I don't want to chance it. I don't want to cuddle while we sleep cause I am already super uncomfortable and all I really want is to hug this body pillow. It's tough to throw your tree trunk leg off of mine when you're sleeping, and no I'm not really excited about THAT either, but go ahead and do what you want, I'm going to keep my eyes closed and try to stay sleep"... LOL! It's real out here. Now, don't get me wrong, sometimes I get over my issues and am a happy "camper" but not nearly as often as required of me, I suppose cause I got big baby over here questioning my commitment to him... Is me carrying your heavy child not commitment enough??? This was your friggin idea!

Am I the one with the problem? I need someone to tell me I'm wrong (if in fact I am wrong). Do I get to be a selfish pregnant woman and disregard their needs when it conflicts with what I need (not necessarily the 12 yr old's, but that husband of mine?)

I need answers people!

He stay tryna get a piece of my peace!!! (haha)

Love, Tam

Beyonce, Kelly and Michelle ruined it for us all... got these men running around thinking every moment needs to be about them. I love you, I cater and I serve and support but geesh! Give me a break for 9 months while I carry this load.

.... note they did not cover having your baby in this song!


  1. Dear Tam,

    You are not wrong. I feel like I've written everything in your blog. Some days I don't want my kids or husband. While carrying my last child my weight reached 250lbs which made me very insecure and feel ugly. My husband was very uncaring and it made me very angry about carrying my baby. Men seem to be very selfish, childish and inconsiderate. To answer your questions me personally I would ignore everyone's needs but the 12 year old. Your husband can fend for himself! Focus on you and your bundle. Woman work all day come home cook then clean up, prepare the kids for the next day while men put their feet up and chill with the fellas. We need to be catered too...IMO :) sorry for babbling! Just tired of not being appreciated...

    1. I'm glad you commented because if nothing else, it put my situation in perspective. I will be a little more selfish, but I am going to try harder to be loving and attentive to him because he comes homes and cooks sometimes, cleans and then rubs my feet. He's just asking for a little more tenderness from me. And although I am the pregnant one and super tired and not feeling great. He is putting in the hard work to make me feel better, the least I can do is give him more love in return. If I throw up on him, it'll be a lesson learned, but until then I will ignore my gag reflex and give him a big juicy kiss!!! Thank you for your feedback... reality checked me real fast!