Monday, May 13, 2013

He Came For My Heart

He came for my heart...
His pursuance persisted.
My heart still wounded,
I opposed and resisted.

My fight was so strong,
But his love was consistent,
He proved his intent,
Yet still I stayed distant

Desperate not to fall,
I watched every step.
“I’m not here to hurt you,
Is that hard to accept?”

I was used to the pain
Another man dealt. 
I was used to containing
All the feelings I felt.

He never fought back
Patient in his dealings.
Never jealous or pushy
No pressing my feelings.

“You should pray about him!”
My mom was concerned.
I am not in control
A hard lesson I’ve learned.

So I went to the Father,
ever steady in prayer.
Lord, what do I do?
You know that I’m scared.

You know the bad dreams
and how I'm afraid to commit
You know my deep sadness
The ones I seldom admit.

You know my life heartaches
And how I struggle to trust
You know what he did to me
Will I ever adjust?

“Tamika, I know all about you
And what you’ve endured
I know all your needs
And I am the cure.

You may have had moments
Where you felt on your own
But I was always beside you
I never left you alone.

You stayed faithful to me
And I promised to guide
I am here to protect you
Wipe the tears that you cried.

Your focus wasnt on me
I am a jealous you know.
But you are my child
And I want you to grow.

I gave you the bad
To bring you towards me
Now here is the good
Just enjoy it and see.

I love you enough
To give him to you
So continue loving me
And see what I do.” 

Lord, I am trusting in you
And your watch over my life.
You restored my heart
To make me his wife.

I will open my heart
to see what we can be
But I can only love him
Because God has loved me.

This is my true story of heart break and abuse healed and transformed because of God's keeping power. I am struggling to care about and open my heart to someone who cherishes me deeply because of past hurt. And God is showing me that I don't have to worry about anything because he has me and my life on 24 hour watch. Even if this present story doesn't have the happiest of endings, I can not and will not be afraid to live it and enjoy it. My life is not in my own hands... I cannot control anything. How can I not trust God to take care of me knowing what he delivered me from? He did not leave me then and He will not leave me now. I am forever transformed. And because God loved me, I am able to return His love to someone else.

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