Good Morning! I love to share when I have good, inspiring, and helpful revelations. I often don't post anything when there's nothing exciting or dramatic going on, but I realized I have so many "moments" that maybe others should share in. Although, in my mind it's always just "another day" with them, our days are so special and loving (mostly) that someone else could learn from (what I think of as) our normal moments. I realize not every home is like ours... although not perfect, we are a very together, loving family. The day-to-day Brawner-Keys house is interesting in itself... it's fun, sometimes loud with love and fighting, and we have a lot of quiet loving moments as well. Being around those guys daily, is a joy. I noticed and took a moment to think on (and smile about) the occasional, special moments that happen in our home.
I love my girls to pieces! They are thee best daughters in the world. I don't really have much to complain about... yes, they are crazy, moody, smart mouthed, menstrual teen aged and pre-teenage girls. But more than those things, they are smart and witty, funny, sweet, loving, helpful and mostly obedient children. Of course they have their moments where they drive me up a wall, they're girls! And they're at the age where sometimes they can't help but be crazy. I probably find spaces in the house to avoid them at all costs. But when they are not monsters, I love being in their space. You can learn so much just by sitting and talking to your kids. Give them your undivided attention and they will tell you just about anything. I am shocked sometimes at the things they so comfortably divulge to me. Whenever I am just sitting on the couch and I ask Kai to come sit on my lap so I can hold her awhile, I can get just about anything out of her. (I'm not telling you this as a way to trick your children into telling you juicy stuff. I just noticed that when I provoke affectionate convo with Kai, she opens up...) I start my telling her, "I remember when you were small and could fit right here perfectly. I miss those days, you were so sweet." Then I start to ball her up and bend her legs, "see, you still fit!" I ask about her day, what's going on with her and when I feel like there is a certain thing she just failed to tell me, I take that time to ask her about it specifically. I assume she feels safe in that spot on my lap, me holding her just because I love her and WANTED her there (knowing honestly, I am usually annoyed when she attempts to "attack" me with her affection. I'm working on it.) She's probably thinking, "my mommy does love me, this is the best spot in the world. I feel safe here, I can tell her anything and know she will still love me." Our children just want our time, attention and affection. I know I don't always give them enough of it. We work, we come home, we cook, we clean...and as they get older and start to appear independent, sometimes as parents we forget they are still just our babies. They still NEED the kinda love that comes in the form of hugs, kisses and quiet moments on our laps.
The end of last year, I decided to try something different. I realized I had 2 girls that now wanted to get their eyebrows done. I let Kai start getting hers done last year for her birthday and Nae has been getting hers done since 6th grade as well. It started to become another bill going regularly to get mine and theirs done. I've sacrificed my own a few times so Nae could get hers done, she's in high school... I remember how that feels, needing to feel like you were putting your best self forward. But then one day when I didn't want to sacrifice my own (I think it was my bday) and getting hers done just wasn't in the tight (Christmas) budget, I decided I would just do them myself. Before I started going to get mine done, I would simply pluck out my stray brows and arch them myself. I figured, why not do theirs? I went and bought tweezers and a straight razor and went to work. I'd lay their head in my lap, pluck and shave at their brows until I was satisfied. While they were there in my lap, we'd talk or sometimes just sit quietly until I was done. What I noticed... they were super happy with that time getting their eyebrows done. Yes, they got up from my lap with fresh, trimmed, arched brows, but I know the main reason they accept the "I'll just do them myself" brows, is because that time with their head in my lap is precious to them. Last night was date night and when I walked upstairs, tweezers in hand, to do their brows (even though they asked me soon as I got home from work, but dinner and date night prevailed), they were shocked. "I thought it was date night!" It is, but I said I'd do them today and Two Broke Girls (I love that show!) is a repeat. "come on, who's first?" The hugest smiles! I love those smiles. Even though this is just eyebrow maintenance... it's more than that! It's good ole, having "mom's" undivided attention, your face in her hands, your head in her lap, making me pretty quality time. I'd do anything for those two girls and I vow to take more time to make those smiles happen. It is definitely the little things with our kids. The joy you feel when those smiles happen is unparalleled!
I told J I was going to look into a waxing kit, just to give them official brows! After thinking about that a sec, I realized that process may go too fast, it won't allow for the time we spend just sitting there plucking at each hair. Maybe I'll hold off on that for a bit, I want the time with them just as much as they want it with me. The years are going by so fast. Kai will be 12 in a couple months, Nae will be 16 this year... I have to cherish this time while I still have them just a few doors down the hallway. I don't want the day where they don't want me around to come too soon and I miss all the moments.
Idk what happened yesterday, but I just came home super happy.. I didn't even take my "15 minutes" (Idk why I thought I wrote a blog in this, maybe I will. Wait for it...) as soon as I got home. I talked to Kai about her straight A report card, she recited the words to her song for me (still won't sing), but she did the work and learned the song :), kissed Nae all over her face, played some music and danced for Nae, which turned into dancing with Kai, group hugged them both, then went to take my 15 minutes. Before I left though, they both asked "what happened to you today? why are you so happy?" I couldn't even explain it. I like to describe that as "the JOY of the Lord!" I just told them, my day was normal and I loved and was proud of them both. Then left to take some Tam time, before I started on dinner. J came home, we ate dinner, date night started, he fell asleep, I took that time to (not complain) and go spend time with the girls, then came back down to wake him and put him to bed :) and he surprised me with a trip to the movies instead! That was special to me. I didn't complain about him falling asleep (as usual) on what's supposed to be date night and I got date night multiplied. I realized this before... but it must didn't sink in then. But I'm going to share it with you guys because I love you....
Whenever I do what I'm supposed to do (minus emotion, complaints and annoyance), there is ALWAYS a positive outcome. I never have to say a thing. Something good just happens!
Example: There was this other time when I wanted J to go somewhere with me, but he had to play. I wanted to frown and whine and complain, but I didn't. I just said it's ok, babe. I know you can't control it, I still love you. Guess what? Show got cancelled. I responded with the exact opposite of how I really felt, but what would complaining have done? Nothing positive, it just would've made him feel bad that he was disappointing me, but it wasn't intentional and he couldn't control it. But I responded with genuine love and support and ended up getting my way anyway! Voila... magic! :) I really need to do this more often.
Step out of my own way, honor God and be obedient to what I know He wants me to do and watch the blessings come! That's my peace!
"How can I bless you today?" I hope in some way I have... love lots!