Friday, November 9, 2012

Dear Ikaia...

Dear IKAIA, Nae, Jazmyn, Jalynn and Jada,

Here are some things I’ve always wanted to tell you. Please only use this information for good, there is enough evil already in the world. Some of these are just a few secrets to life I hope you figure out and that I can’t just outright tell you because as a mom, it feels like TOP SECRET information. “If I told you, I’d have to…”  The others are life’s truths that I try to teach you, but only really can be learned from the heart, not from my motherly rants that you never really hear. “I can see your faces, I know you’re not listening to me.”

All the same, I wish I could post them as a refrigerator memo, but being children, you only read the things you’re not supposed to and barely acknowledge the things left for you to read… it would do me no good.

Here’s my list:

10. I truly hate any and all confrontation with you. I know it is for the greater good, essential to your growth and development and pretty much a way for me to prove I am smarter. Moreso, I like our happy days when we all agree, don’t fight and have good wholesome, talks and fun. To add, if you were to NEVER argue with me again, I’d buy each of you a puppy, or a pony, or shopping spree the mall out. Your choice.

9. The girls at school who are mean and bully you (hopefully you aren't those girls), will one day feel stupid for being that kinda kid. Eventually they will figure it out and maybe end up being your friend. Be patient with them, you never know what people are going through. Have some compassion, be nice anyway. Maybe they will be a good friend to you one day.

8. You are capable. Some things may come harder to you than others, but it’s good for you. The earlier in life you realize everything doesn’t come easy, anything that you have to work hard for is worth the work, and the REALLY rewarding things in life didn’t come free… the better, stronger and farther ahead in life you’ll be. Some learn this… Whatever it is, you can do it! I believe in you.

7. I have a confession: I wait til you go to bed to eat all the good things in the house. I hide most of my favorite things so I don’t have to share them with you. I know it isn’t fair, but I think we would all agree that it would be meaner to eat it right in front of you. It is a sneaky act of love, I love you that much I don’t want you to have to suffer watching me eat it ;)

6. All fights can be worked out, but it will take someone being the bigger person, some humility, and an apology… even if you don’t think you’re wrong. What does it really matter in the end? Hopefully, eventually you’ll make up anyway… why wait it out? Be humble and fix it! You will need humility to lead a good, productive life anyway, so it’s better to just embrace it now. Learn to apologize early and forgive quickly, it will save you a lot of time and trouble.

5. I don’t really care if you’re not sleep and in bed at bedtime, just go in your room and leave me alone for a few hours. I just want the little moment of peace before I go to bed myself.

4. There is no power so precious, no possession so valuable, and no achievement as glorious as the love you can give to each other. A sister (SISTER-aunt, step-SISTER) is an amazing gift; God put you together for a reason. You will need one another in ways you can’t see now. Handle one another with care. Trust me, I know this for certain!

3. I love you a lot, I would do anything to protect you. But God loves you at least a million more times than that. Trust Him, cling to Him, follow Him, run to Him! I don’t always have the answers, He does

2. I am not out to stunt your fun. My goal in a day is not to see how I can ruin your life. I just want the best for you. If I object to something, it’s because God gave me the ability to foresee the harm in it that you can’t even begin to imagine. I just want to protect you and be there to help you avoid people, places and situations that mean you no good.

1. I know I am not the perfect mom. You are old enough to see and notice some of the mistakes I make, yet still you love me and think highly of me. Just remember that my victories are only because of Jesus, and my failures are just proof of my great need for Him. Really and truly, I always work hard at being your mom; you are my most precious assignment from God. I want to do well. I anticipate the reward in it. (You are my #8… so worth it)

my sister-daughter and my mini me... my first loves!
my 3 J's...
Girls gone wild!

I just love you! And I want the best for all of you. I'm doing my best as a mom to you, I hope one day you take note of the effort. It's like I'm running a zoo! Pray for me :)

You are my bits of peace! Love, Mommy (Tamika) 


  1. This is amazing! kudos to you for being honest and laying things out there! They are all so blessed to have you guiding them!

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