Thursday, January 2, 2014

On With the New Year! 2014

I don't feel obligated to make New Year's resolutions. I don't wait until a fresh year to come just to decide to change some thing that needs changing. It's always a good time to resolve to be better and change, BUT... Because it is a new year, now is a good time to turn over a new leaf and do things differently than before. So in the spirit of the new year, I resolve to...

1. Offer the same grace to others that I give to Mr. Brawner. He doesn't know it, but Mr. Brawner has it way good. My relationship with him is the one I put the most work in to, the one I read "self help" books for, the one I get advice on and work to make better daily. He is the one person I work to supply with an unlimited amount of grace. I work to forgive him ahead of the apology. It is often my prayer to forgive him even if he never apologizes. I offer him an unlimited amount of benefit, in spite of the doubt. AND I give him room for error. I allow him to go crazy, have a bad day, misstep, misspeak, and just down right have an unwarranted attitude without a lot of slack. "Oh Mr. Brawner is having a bad day? Let me give him a break and some space to work out that issue knowing he isn't intentionally taking it out on me." I know his heart and his intention is never to do me harm, so I consider the positive in all of his actions.
So I resolve to offer this amount of love to all the people I choose to be in relationship with. Some of you get this treatment automatically, it just doesn't require the same amount of work and effort that I put into it for Mr. Brawner. I am intentional about my love for him. I resolve to be intentional about my love for you.

2. Love people the way they need it. My love often comes across as bullying. Mr. Brawner can handle that, he doesn't mind being picked on. If I love you, I may make fun of you in good spirit. But there are some who need to be loved differently, more tenderly. I resolve to not be my hard self to those who need more tenderness. I don't want them to think I don't love them, and I don't expect them to just accept what I give. Loving them means compromising and being what they need.

3. Be more organized.
- clip some coupons. I spend a lot of time in grocery stores and spend a lot of money. Why shouldn't I save a little coin in the process. It's free, it's easy, it's smart!
-be tidier. I am a mess. Mr. Brawner is OCD and going crazy. I love my husband and I don't want him to go crazy... not on my watch!
-not be a hoarder. I have so much crap that I am never going to use. 4 burners and 20 pots? Why? And that's just one on the list of many. Swap Party 2014???
-make lists. My memory is failing me. I talk aloud to myself over and over just so I don't forget to do something. And then, more often than not, I still forget something. I should just write it down.
-make and keep a routine/schedule

4. Not sweat the small stuff. Everything doesn't have to be something. Know what I mean? I feel the need to get a lot of things off my chest. It's therapeutic for me. You don't have to wonder how I feel about most things because most likely I am going to tell you and be unsugar-coatedly honest about it. BUT... I am working to not sweat the small stuff. Everything doesn't have to be something. (Unless I am paying you for this service and in that case, everything is something and whatever that something is, is everything! Know what I mean?)

5. Take more time for myself. I am a lot of things to a lot of people, and that's ok. I enjoy my life. But sometimes I just need to take a little more time for myself. Take care of me so that I'm able to take care of all of them better. I got gifted a spa day months ago. Why haven't I spa'd yet?

6. Use the part of my brain that gets neglected because my job isn't challenging enough. I can go all day and not use the part of my brain that... does what brains do. I can live on auto pilot. I resolve to think more, challenge my brain. Puzzle, write, read for knowledge. I am smart, I don't want my smart to get slow and stale. I can feel it happening. Maybe I need a new job. Maybe because I like the people at my job, I need to figure out how to create a new job at my job.

7. Spend more time outside. I am an indoor girl, but I love what outside looks like. I need to de-bourgeois myself and put on some sneakers and be out in the air, with the trees and dirt and bugs and... ew!!! But it's so pretty out there and I want to see it. I wish I had a bubble.

8. Be the me I loved. I love 2009-2010 Tamika that put on outdoor clothes and ran. I loved how it felt, and I loved how it made me look. I was healthy, had a great head of hair and a body I wanted to photograph in the nude. Where is that girl? This current body just isn't cutting it.

9. Blog more. My thoughts feel better outside of my head. Even if they are never seen by anyone or read ever again... they belong out of my head. My sanity appreciates it.

10. Create memories with the people I love. Yes, I see my husband and kids everyday, but we're not really spending time together, not making any memories. And all those other people I love and never get to see... let's make some memories! Once a month, once a season... whenever and however it has to happen, let's do it!

I had to have a list of 10 just to make it feel complete... 10 was easy and I could prob think of 10 more. What are your New Year's resolutions?

That's my (first of many in 2014) PEACE!!!

Love, Tam


  1. This was awesome! Thanks for sharing!

  2. Thanks for that... it was much appreciated! Im all over that SWAP PARTY 2014!.. I will help organize it if that's what it takes... :)

  3. Thank you for aspiring me to make a few tweeks and changes! Lets make that SWAP PARTY 2014 happen! I'll help organize if that's what it takes!