Wednesday, June 27, 2012

One Olive Branch At A Time

Good Morning cold world!! Speaking of... there was a bit of chill in the air this morning, lol! But anyways, Happy Wednesday! Hope everyone is enjoying the work week, only a few more days to the weekend AGAIN! I don't think I have any real plans, but how can we not love the weekend? Are you with me? :)
So... I was going to write something yesterday, I've been thinking on this for awhile and I even spoke on it a week or so ago giving someone my opinion. But idk what keeps happening, for some reason the blog never gets written. Then last night, while I wasn't sleeping my mind just wouldnt leave this thought alone. So apparently God is tryna tell me something (write that blog Tamika!), because there is no good explanation for why my mind was even writing this blog in my non sleep last night. SO here goes: Lord guide my thoughts! Amen!

I have seen many a FB status posts, tweets and even words from friends on how they no longer need to be around certain people, how folk aren't... *scrolls Twitter TL cause I seen it again this morning* (God reminding me to get on this blog!) *found it*
"I can't dwell in mediocrity...I will continue to replace mediocre, complacent ppl with ppl on the move & other like minded individuals"
*found another* "Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or make you happy; bottom line-----LOVE YOU FIRST!"

and they go on and on... how someone is no longer serving a purpose in your life, so to the back seat they go! Or even sometimes, it isn't so cruel... it's more like. "They did something to offend me, and I forgive them but I just don't want them in my life anymore. I'm over them!"

Some of you are looking at me like "what's the problem? lol This all makes sense, right? You sometimes grow out of people, or they are more harmful to my life than helpful. I have a right to discard these kinda people from my life, right?" Wrong! I suppose if you are a non-Christian than all this would make sense. And you could so easily just discard a child of God. But if you are a Christian, then maybe you should consider this:

God purposed them into your life for a reason and likewise you into theirs. Life is not about who is serving you, growing you or making you happy. Our lives should be lived to glorify God, not self and no where in the Bible do I see where God tells us to leave people, who aren't on our level, by the wayside. Jesus was not walking around, hanging out with people that were like him, the religious leaders or the richest, most popular people. Jesus hung out with the sinners, the poor, the tax collectors, the sick. He lived His life to serve others, so what someone isn't contributing anything to your life! Consider what you are contributing to theirs. Consider why God placed you into their life. Maybe He needs you to be an example of love and grace to them, help grow them up. I am not saying stay with the boyfriend that is abusing you or be best friends and go out clubbing with the neighborhood harlot... "Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals." I am simply saying don't be so quick to discard people from your life because of what they do/don't can/can't do for you. Life shouldn't be so self serving. "Love you first!" should never be the motto. Instead replace it with "Love God first!" and in doing that God wants us to love as He loves. And how can we do that if we are discarding friendships and tossing people away because they aren't contributing to our lives? Because that's what God does to us? Hardly! Our grace and mercy should extend to others, just as His does to us. Yes, people are going to offend us. Yes, some aren't living up to our standards and don't motivate us. Yes, some others are more easy to forget and discard and we would be able to go on just fine without then. But have we considered how God wants us to handle these relationships? Have we considered that we may be the light God wants to use to deliver them from whatever is keeping them off your level? Maybe we aren't that light, but what if God were so easy to discard us? We are walking perfections, huh? And we are living up to every desire God has for us, yes? We are fulfilling exactly the purpose God created us for and He is pleased with our every action? Hardly! We disappoint God daily, yet He still loves us, communes with us, leads us, cares for us, protects us... thank you Lord for your grace and mercy!
I've had to reconsider a few of my choices to discard people... *insert specific personal story here*
It is no secret how I feel about my dad. I think he could've done better as a parent, I wish he had been more present, I wish he had not allowed his life's issues to directly affect me, I wish he'd been a better source of guidance, protection, knowledge, love, discipline, structure... pretty much he sucked as a parent. I wish he was, to this day, less selfish. Every occasion with him used to feel detrimental for me, I couldn't trust him, I didn't feel safe (not from any physical harm, more of a emotional, mental anguish). He is toxic to be around, and I decided that it just wasn't worth it. Why was I subjecting myself to this? He needed to be on "hi and bye" status. Sounds fair, right? Or so I thought! I was moving forward in my life, happily without him. I was in a happy, healthy relationship, my daughter was growing up beautifully, I was getting married, he was a last thought with no harm to me. I was happy. And I don't doubt this happiness for a second. It wasn't some faux, contrived happiness. My emotions were safe, my life was progressing. But God was not pleased and how could I remain happy in that? It all sounded fine that I should be able to go on without him and live my now happy and healed life, he was only keeping me in a place of hurt. But God created us for relationships, God gave me that particular dad, God knew the father he would be and still it is the one He gave me, God knew how I would be affected and He knew how I would turn out, still God gave that father to me. So I believe God expects me to have relationship with him. "Honor your Father and Mother." I don't believe leaving my father out of my life would be considered honor, huh? I had to be mature, learn some patience and choose to love, respect and accept the father God gave me. He was shocked to even get a invite to my wedding! (yes, it was that deep). I am sure he was just as shocked when I got up and initiated Father/Daughter dance with him. (I had previously told the coordinator I wanted no parts in it). I am sure he was just as shocked when he got invitations to 2 functions at my house. I had to set aside how I felt about him and do what I knew God wanted me to do. I see the joy it is bringing my dad, I see the appreciation that he feels in being included in my life, I am glad I can show him love inspite of and I welcome the growth it will bring to our relationship. More than anything, I am thankful for the opporunity to be obedient to what God wants me to do. It is not easy, but I trust it will become easier. I am glad to be a blessing to his life in the process of my obedience. Someone will be blessed and that makes my heart glad.
I know some of you are thinking, a dad is a much more obvious relationship to try and salvage. We know how God already feels about honoring our parents. How can we be so sure about our other friendships? I guess that would require some prayer, but I know God hopes for all relatonships to be reconciled and grow. Those people who we discarded just because they were annoying, or had bad attitudes but their actions weren't directly harmful to us, God wants those restored. I have been extending the olive branch all over the place. What's the harm? What could go wrong? What could happen? I make someone's day by being nice, by forgiving? I bless someone's life by being kind and letting them know my door is open to them? Sounds like a plan to me! Maybe my good deed will encourage someone else's good deed and the world will become a better place one olive branch at a time. :)

A girl can dream! That's my peace!

Love, Tam


  1. Bravo! That kind of love only comes from Jesus.

    1. definitely! I would not be able to accomplish this in my own strength for sure.