He Came For My Heart

He came for my heart...

His pursuance persisted.

My heart still wounded,

I opposed and resisted.

My fight was so strong,

But his love was consistent,

He proved his intent,

Yet still I stayed distant

Desperate not to fall,

I watched every step.

“I’m not here to hurt you,

Is that hard to accept?”

I was used to the pain

Another man dealt. 

I was used to containing

All the feelings I felt.

He never fought back

Patient in his dealings.

Never jealous or pushy

No pressing my feelings.

“You should pray about him!”

My mom was concerned.

I am not in control

A hard lesson I’ve learned.

So I went to the Father,

ever steady in prayer.

Lord, what do I do?

You know that I’m scared.

You know the bad dreams

and how I'm afraid to commit

You know my deep sadness

The ones I seldom admit.

You know my life heartaches

And how I struggle to trust

You know what he did to me

Will I ever adjust?

“Tamika, I know all about you

And what you’ve endured

I know all your needs

And I am the cure.

You may have had moments

Where you felt on your own

But I was always beside you

I never left you alone.

You stayed faithful to me

And I promised to guide

I am here to protect you

Wipe the tears that you cried.

Your focus wasnt on me

I am a jealous you know.

But you are my child

And I want you to grow.

I gave you the bad

To bring you towards me

Now here is the good

Just enjoy it and see.

I love you enough

To give him to you

So continue loving me

And see what I do.” 

Lord, I am trusting in you

And your watch over my life.

You restored my heart

To make me his wife.

I will open my heart

to see what we can be

But I can only love him

Because God has loved me.

This is my true story of heart break and abuse healed and transformed because of God's keeping power. I am struggling to care about and open my heart to someone who cherishes me deeply because of past hurt. And God is showing me that I don't have to worry about anything because he has me and my life on 24 hour watch. Even if this present story doesn't have the happiest of endings, I can not and will not be afraid to live it and enjoy it. My life is not in my own hands... I cannot control anything. How can I not trust God to take care of me knowing what he delivered me from? He did not leave me then and He will not leave me now. I am forever transformed. And because God loved me, I am able to return His love to someone else.